Burger King’s Kuro Burger

Japan, in it’s infinite assimilation of Western culture,takes Halloween fairly seriously. Funky costumes, pumpkin-spiced lattes and ofcourse; obscenely coloured food. So in a bizarre and somewhat cruel twist offate, Burger King Japan has unleashed the Kuro burger. It’s…black.

The reaction to such a perversion of fine cuisine is muchthe same as it’s always been to food-related spectacle throughout the years;people gasp in shock, maybe wretch a little bit into their hand, as if peakingthrough the curtain of a Victorian freak show and sticking to that sameanalogy, they have to go in and further expose themselves.We did. We had to.

So what is it? It’s a bun dyed jet-black using a charcoalbased colouring, black cheese (using the same method) and a black sauceflavoured with Squid ink. The patty is also flecked with black (this time inthe form of pepper). Does it taste nice? Yes but it probably won’t sway you fromyour Triple Whopper or Chicken Royale on your next visit. The sauce does NOTtaste of fish, it has a delicate flavour that’s actually incredibly hard tocompare to anything else you may have had, but the patty is rather peppery, infact, those who have spent their childhood years guzzling Cornish pasties wouldmost likely experience a violent nostalgia rush.

The funny thing is that in true fast-food style the boughtproduct looks nothing like the picture; it looks like something one would needurgently removed from one’s lung while praying its not malignant. Japan ispretty damn good at presenting a Big Mac or Whopper that looks more or lessexactly like the advertisements, so what does that say about the Kuro Burger? You may notbe able to polish a turd, but you can certainly feel it run down behind yourknee…